Yep...that's what I did. "How are things going?", he says. I say, as soon as he walks in...." You know what? I don't want to know what the download of my meter looks like...I don't want to know my A1C. And I actually don't want to talk about any of it, and you are lucky I didn't cancel my appointment!!" He laughed out loud for like 5 minutes on that one, and then realized I was somewhat serious about what I just threw out at him. So now Doc and I are both in uncharted waters. He's never seen me like this, and I have NEVER been like this since my diagnosis....or for that matter ever. I then proceeded to ask him all about his life because I feel he's more like a friend then a doctor, and I'm scheming to try and change the subject. I think he actually "gets" me, and saw right through this. Any good Doc would right? He and I both know that this will pass....he even assured me that everyone gets in this rut. Comforting? Not so much for me....I'm much too hard on myself to let that comfort me! Come on now!
So I've figured a few things out in all of this. I was SO incredibly disciplined at the beginning! Then for years after, it was more of the same. All good right? Wrong....I didn't practice what I preach to all the newbies that ask me questions. When you are incredibly meticulous about managing diabetes, and you don't take a "holiday", you will burn out. And when you fall of the wagon, you don't just fall off...you get thrown off!!! This is where I think I'm at now....off the wagon, and have been for awhile. (How did I get through that Half IM???) A major derailment, but the tracks are in sight and I'm headed back to them! Enough of this already. No more pity parties, because no one is coming to them anyway! :0
Now here I am testing out new pumps, with a new attitude. Focus is the goal for the season. I know I have said that before...but I'm going to focus on a lot of different things. So, stay focused and don't get derailed by the small stuff. Stick to the plan. I figure if I type it out, I have to commit to it. Besides...all my friends that read this...you know who you are...will make me accountable for all of it! I'm asking for it now...ooohhhh I better watch it!
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3 comments:
You will notice an improvement in your physical performance with a lower A1C. :) Are you still interested in a friendly diabetic to diabetic wager on A1C's? lol you can set the guidelines. :) Sounds to me like you've shaken the diabetes blues!
Ooooh, don't temp me with a competition!! I won't be able to resist...what do you want to bet??
How far into Michigan do you live? My girl and I could meet up with you and your husband for dinner somewhere halfway, loser buys! A year from now we'll be pre-winter post-race season. What do you think?
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