Do any diabetics out there wonder this too? I certainly can't be the only one who hasn't felt this from time to time. Why do I even bother with trying to control things? Yes of course I know why, but really....it seems like when I'm not striving to keep things under control vs. working diligently at it, it makes no difference at all. I realize this is all just a phase for me right now, but none the less frustrating. I just want to toss that meter into the trash, and and eat normal, exercise normal, think about food normal, drink normal, dress normal (so I don't have to hide my pump), and...well....just be an ordinary citizen. But then that's just crazy talk, isn't it? Come back from "La La Land", kick yourself, and practice what you preach. Which I never do. But I'm going to try to swallow my own medicine.
Of course it takes all of one second for it to become clear to me.....all this anguish, and yes, a little pain equals control. Maybe not a lot of control at times, but enough. It's hard. Very hard. Very, very hard. But I plan on being around for some time and I'm not going to blow it because of a crappy attitude that makes me slack off. With a disease that constantly throws you curve balls you have to stay smart...there is no room for slacking off. At least in my world. There are plenty of people who do on a regular basis, (I'm sure I don't know any of them), but I don't. Which is where the anguish comes in. I can really drive myself crazy! It's what I do best!
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